In the Sea of God’s Mercy

Dear Preacher,
“There’s a wideness in God’s mercy like the wideness of the sea….” Shortly after I heard you preach, I wanted to send you the words to this old hymn to remind you that God’s mercy is wide enough to include me and all of my lesbian and gay brothers and sisters. As I defiantly sang it in my head, I began to realize that I do not choose to approach you in anger. And, of course, I remembered that I am the only one I can change. As I listened again to this familiar hymn, I knew that what I need to hear in these words is that God’s mercy is big enough to include you. I was angry when I felt you hijacked a service I was deeply engaged with and used it as a platform to preach against anyone who does not believe in God in the way that you do. I was hurt that you spoke as if your interpretation of Scripture was the only one possible and your interpretation pushed me and many people that I love outside the circle of God’s grace. Oh, you gave us a way to “get back in,” if we’d just agree with your understanding of God and grace, but if we hold to what we know of God, you tell me that we are wrong. In fact, when I told you that I am a lesbian and I was hurt by your words, instead of treating me with care and asking how you might rectify the hurt, you declared that “God hates that lifestyle.” I responded with anger in my heart and we seemed to agree that it wasn’t the time or place for this conversation, so I walked away. Perhaps you can see that it was a stretch for me to pray compassionately for you, to know that you, too, are included in the wideness of God’s mercy, but that’s exactly what I’m called to do by the Christ that I seek to follow.
I am called upon to forgive you and, actually, to let go of my judgment of you. By God’s grace I pray for you and for the church you lead, Pastor. I ask God to soften your heart that you might see us, your lesbian and gay brothers and sisters, as God’s gift to you – and I ask God to soften my heart that I might see you, too, as God’s gift. I pray for both of us to be filled with lovingkindness. I ask God’s blessing on the 10% or so of your congregation struggling to come to terms with their God-given sexual orientation while under your leadership. I suspect they feel excluded from the circle of God’s love/grace/salvation unless they deny an essential part of themselves. I pray for them to find strength and courage and deep insight as they seek to be true to the God of love. I pray that they are not driven away from God. I pray that they will not despair and move toward suicide as many lesbian and gay youth do as they experience rejection by church and family. And I pray that you might see them for who they are, created in God’s image, as are you, as am I.
So, “there’s a wideness in God’s mercy like the wideness of the sea,” the song says, and I pray with that. Another verse: “There’s a kindness in God’s justice that is more than liberty. But we make God’s love too narrow by false limits of our own and we magnify God’s strictness with a zeal God will not own. For the love of God is broader than the measure of our mind; and the heart of the Eternal is most wonderfully kind.”
The words to this hymn were written in 1854 – I wonder what the context was that inspired the writer to pen these particular words. Certainly we’ve grown as a nation since then, for that was a time when many Christians still used Scripture as a basis for supporting slavery of other human beings. Now the Word is used, without considering context and history, to limit the freedom and the right to full humanity of same-gender loving people. Thankfully, there are other Christians, also deeply devoted to Scripture and following Christ, who understand God and the Bible as primarily about God’s love for all God’s creation.
But back to mercy. Back to what I am called to as I seek to be faithful. I, too, must not make God’s love too narrow – you are my brother in Christ. I don’t have to agree with your interpretation of Scripture, but I do have to be willing to love and serve you and to dialogue with you. I do not wish you put myself in harm’s way by engaging in futile arguments in which we try to change each other’s minds, but I am called to be willing to listen to your heart and to offer to share mine in return.
You don’t know me. I don’t know you. We met as we sat together at the table of our mutual friend. We each gave what we had to give to a grieving family. We each pray in our own way, with our own words, to a common God, trusting in God’s mercy. May we swim together in the wideness of that sea of mercy. May we each move more deeply into that heart of the Eternal that is wonderfully kind.
Peace to you on your journey,
Linda Bryant